If I were NHL commissioner for a day, these would be my three rule changes:
1. New NHL Title 8 program: For every Canadian team, there must be a team based in Mexico. Watching Alejandro slide around on the ice would be too funny to miss.
2. Any goalie wearing an old-school hockey mask must also replace their stick with an old-school Jason knife.
3. No more throwing octopus on the ice. Instead, we will hand out official NHL stamped cherry bombs.