Friday, November 30, 2007
I would like to announce the first U.S. government sponsored sports arena, DMV Stadium. Here they play a variety of sporting events, although very few people actually manage to navigate the crisscrossing lines to enter the seating area in order to see them. Beverage stations abound, but you need three forms of ID, a piece of un-opened US mail, and a full body cavity search in order to buy anything. DMV's Stadium also believes in employing only the dullest, most dissatisfied people our great city has to offer, and lord knows there's a ton of them. They will sleep on the job, insult you as you make purchases, and insist that you in no way raise your voice to them. One of the stadium's main attractions is the photograph section where you can take pictures of you and your friends with your favorite athletes. The only catch is, in every photo you look drunk, high, or like you just woke up from a ten year crack coma.