If I were National Hockey League Commissioner Gary Bettman I would...
- Move the Phoenix Coyotes back to Winnipeg
- Fold the Nashville Predators and the Florida Panthers and give new franchises to Quebec City and Hartford, Conn.
- Have the home teams wear white sweaters (like they used to and aught to)
- Make the Buffalo Sabres get rid of their horrid "Buffaslug" logo
- Get rid of the trapezoid area behind the net that goalies are restricted to handling the puck around
- Execute Rod Brind'amour and replace him with Tim Geigner because I have homosexual dreams about him on a nearly constant basis.